Friendology

Week 5 - Friend to your spouse

Scripture

Ephesians 5:21-33

Genesis 2:24

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 13:7

4-6

ESV

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

ESV

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

NIV

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

NLT

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

NASB

it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Song of Solomon 2:15

"catch the little foxes"

The little things that ruin your marriage and your friendship

unresolved conflict

keep short accounts

Extend grace

Proverbs 19:11

NLT

11 Sensible people control their temper;
they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

NKJV

11 The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression.

NIV

11 A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Bad or unhealthy habits

Unsustainable schedules

Articles

NOTES

The Value of Friendship
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12a

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves”

1) Learning from Our Friends' Life Experiences

Go through things together - expand our perspective by seeing things from multiple sides and different viewpoints

Your spouse is supposed to be able to have different opinions just like your friends.

You and your friends don't agree on everything, but you choose to be friends regardless of disagreements.

Ecclesiastes 1:9

9 What has been will be again,

what has been done will be done again;

there is nothing new under the sun.

2) Receiving Truth from Our Friends

PRoverbs 27:6

NLT

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

NIV

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

The wounds are tough, but we have to remember that we are giving truth, but sometimes, that truth is like a wound. It can hurt.

Words are powerful, and no matter if "they know how I feel" they can hurt. I can say I'm your friend, but if I approach you in a way that hits an injury you have, you can get over it, but it still hurts and I need to recognize that.

Need to know your spouse enough to know where the injuries are and how to navigate around them or help them get healing.

3) Choose Friendship in Your Marriage CArefully

Proverbs 13:20

“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm”

One of the best things we can do is have a solid relationship with our spouse.

NOTES

Should a married person have a close friend of the opposite sex?https://www.gotquestions.org/married-friend-opposite-sex.html

ideas

Disclaimer

We are talking about an ideal in a fallen world.

Abuse

Failed marriages

in a fallen world, the ideal isn't met

But the scriptural principles are still true and beneficial.

We should challenge each other to.

We aren't perfect at all. WE are learning and we are improving and we have a way to go as well.

We are not to judge others who messed it up.

Unique

Just talking about the aspect of friendship (not sex or finances or whatever) and it's important because we think it is missing for some people.

Above other relationships (besides God)

Parents

Children

Friends (even BEST friends)

David and Jonathan

Genesis 2:24

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

you don't leave Mom and Dad to be best friends.

A friendship is a big thing that is built on a bunch of little things.

It's a choice that you have to continue to make. It's a continually made choice.

A continuous choice.

If we stop hanging out together for a while, it doesn't mean that we are no longer friends.

In marriage, the unity required for this relationship can't operate that way. It isn't meant to operate in a situation where there is no contact for long periods of time.

If you feel distant to your spouse, doesn't mean that your marriage is doomed.

Ideas

FOUNDATIONAL
Scripture

Luke 10:25:37 (NIV)

25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.
31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.
35 The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

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