Building Rapport

your opportunity to mold the creation your common ground

any form of insight from an external point of view

can be either unsolicited or requested, expected or unexpected

if delivered poorly, it can elicit pain, anger, insecurity, etc.

best developed through experience

freely presents us with opportunities for personal improvement

Rudiments of effective Feedback

focus on addressing specific actions or behaviors

refrain from making vague, general assaults

provide the other person the opportunity to respond

guidelines that are essential to delivering feedback effectively

be clear,specific, and objective

don't put it off

critique adjustable behaviors

impart encouragement

project a nonjudgemental stance

presenting powerful phrases and relevant imagery can lead to faster and better comprehension of the message

if feedback is negative, concentrate on the present, then the future-not the past

encourage reciprocal exchange of ideas and information

Soliciting Input from Others

not a sign of weakness to ask for feedback

should only be solicited from people whos opinion you respect

interpersonal skills and behavioral knowledge can be resourced to gain valuable input from feedback

some common constructive behaviors

listen empathetically

respond to words that are said

ask for clarification

show that you understand the criticism

some detrimental behaviors

interrupting

distorting the criticism

becoming defensive

disputing details or becoming belligerent

refrain from demonstrating any negative, reflex emotions before giving the speaker/advice a chance

Optimizing Feedback

customize you approach

it is crucial to monitor and adapt to the emotions and responses of others

gauge the speech used, and extend a similar pattern and tone

listen courteously and acknowledge any points made before advancing the conversation

examine your feedback and your plans for delivery

ask yourself questions

what opinion do they hold of you?

how likely is your feedback to have any effect?

what would occur if you did not give this feedback?

Requirements of the workplace

Appealing for Feedback

many teams are comprised of individuals each committed to personal goals

projects often call for a collective approach to be successful

the current workplace promotes facilitation, encouragement, empowerment, motivation, and support of all employees

the development of the modern workplace has increased the value and occasion for feedback

when employing feedback,some ways the air can be cleared

intervene and provide feedback on how you perceive each opponent's position

emphasize the positive elements of each position and areas where both converge

invite others to share feedback to discourage further polarization

team discussions, negative feedback is inevitable

asserting yourself early is crucial to preserving group unity

healthy team operations can only ensue when everyone is equally appreciated and each individual feels accountable for the decisions reached

Providing feedback to others

3 issues need to be taken into consideration

the other person's strengths and weaknesses

the impact that the person's addressed activity is having upon individual work, other people, you, and the organization as a whole

the modifications that can be made for improvement

be sure to recognize and praise what an individual has accomplished before critiquing any flaws

leaving achievements unsaid may translate as disinterest

criticism must be delivered sensitively, be supportive and not accusatory

give feedback on performance quickly and often

encourage empowering beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors; this will increas self-efficacy and strengthen committement

is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights-without undue anxiety and in a way that does not infringe upon the rights of others

Function & Value

first step of being assertive is difficult

becomes more natural with time

some instances where assertiveness is worthwhile

offering input, making appeals, requesting favors, and advocating personal rights

communicating positive expressions

initiating, extending, changing, or terminating the course of conversation

managing minor aggravations to deter resentment and/or aggression

we fasley attribute assertiveness to past demonstrations of mere frankness or aggression

meekness sometimes overrides our ability to asseert ourselves

to motivate ones self, patiently review the benefits and repercussions of this emotional advance

being more assertive will lead to more self-respect and happiness

Techniques

quality assertive expressions are crafted by incorporating the following components and emphasizing them when neccessary

empathy/validation

explanation of the problem

precise resolutions

a customized appraoch will weigh greatly in being effective as a communicator

to facilitate acceptance, use assertive body language

maintain a receptive but serious facial expression, keep your voice calm, and refrain from being demanding or condescending

be careful to utilize facts, not personal opinions

make clear, direct, requests

situations can call for more extreme measures, so practices should be applied

repitition

keep repeating your point

don't get baited into arguements to justify logic

smokescreen

create the illusion that you have given negative, manipulative criticism thought

agree with some fact, but reserve the right to choose your behavior

content to process shift

switching tracks to recapture someone's attention

shift the focus and address the person's current behavior

defusing

allow a person to fully decompress before presenting your concerns

assertive inquiry/stop action

helps restore attention to the point

freezing the dispute and trying to expose the real problem lying underneath can properly reposition your foucs

Guidelines for assertive delivery

some guidelines that will evoke proper assertive conduct and will lesson any harbored insecurity

internally acknowledge and be honest about your feelings

utilize a more positive inner dialogue to reinforce your courage

express yourself in a clear, specific and direct manner

restate or rephrase your message when disputed

ask questions if things are unclear

acknowledge and expose any diversion tactics employed by others

display corresponding body language

regulate your actions and stay focused

always respect the rights of others

in preparation ask yourself these questions

can my message be expressed more clearly?

can my case be more specific?

will I potentially have to repeat my message?

will I be able to respond to any diversions or associated issues while still supporting my cause?

what supplemental body language will I use to bolster acceptance?

being assertive makes you responsible for your own success

assertiveness is midway between being a bully and a doormat

being assertive is much more effective than being demanding or not communicating at all

listening is by far the most important of all communications

The 5 steps of Listening

reception

involves admitting auditory and visual information

including facial expressions, body language, appearance

attention

must be concentrated on data to evaluate it properly

as well as block out any distractions

perception

this is initial attempt to assess the informtion received

distinguished what does and does not correspond with information you already accept as true

educational background, personal experiences, etc..influence how you interpret information

assignment of meaning

new information is linked with existing categories and previous personal experiences

most challenging part, is to interpret the intended message of the speaker

response

the meaning you assign the data will correspond w/ particular intellectual and emotional reactions

response may be nonverbal

may also ask questions to obtain additional information or clarity

Empathizing

involves relating to another on such a level that you can identify with ones feelings

enhances the quality of interpersonal relationships in many ways

demonstrates interest, caring and sympathy

leads people to open

Reduces any potential irritation resulting from misinterpretation

Empathy Barriers

constantly making personal comparisons

preparing your response

prematurely judging a statement

resorting to standardized advice

believing you're inherently correct