Tabitha Mpamira-Kaguri: Trauma not Transformed is Trauma Transferred

Author

It is important how to tell the narrative

"Decided"...

Just telling your story does not transform it.

Yes, breaking silence is important, but it is absolutely not enough - and not always essential (depending on level of how public it should be).

"Why do you get the luxury to wait when they are hurting now?"

Is this maybe dangerous?

How much sacrifice is right?

Don't know...

But different levels of sacrifice have different consequences.

Tradition sometimes has quite silly causes and is often rooted in immaturity.

Let's end helplessness

If there is one thing I would like to avoid when talking about trauma - is leaving you with a sense of helplessness

So many messages are

Trauma not transformed - now how do you transform it?

Questions raised but left unanswered in the talk:

What are you gonna do?

What are you gonna pass on?

leaves a sense of helplessness that I would argue should be avoided

making your personal stories public is not so crucial in healing as it may seem

MYTH!

It does take care of "stigma" - but also only partially

The antidote for silence is not talking just about the pain, it is talking about the resolution.

We assume society or community has its role in individually experienced trauma - due to conventions and belief systems and punishmed through stigma.

Now, if the effect in society that you have is creating helplessness and shame - you are not reconciling - you create boundaries.

Those boundaries will be hidden and difficult to see at first. But they grow strong and create the next cycle of the problem.

If we take society their right to have defense mechanisms, the people will alienate and become hard.

To say: Well, you have caused pain, directly or indirectly, here is the truth, now deal with it - will fire back.

It ignores a central element of human nature.

In a way repeats the cycle of trauma.

Reconciliation

The crucial question is: How much punishment of perpetrators do victims need for healing - and how much punishment of perpetrators can a society tolerate in order to still reconcile and not see the victims as perpetrators.

The emotional burden of distressing life events can be managed. Mechanisms in society should consciously used to do this in a "smart" way. - I have to elaborate this...

#MeToo

... is an example for a very specific kind of awareness campaign - with all related issues

#awareness

Chain of buzz-words

heal

transform

Transgenerational transfer of trauma has several mechanisms

belief systems

traditions

stigma etc.

more importantly emotional availability of parents / caregivers

We have to move beyond "inspirational" to create change

from an ethical standpoint, the withholding of remedies that are available, affordable, effective (with benefits outweighing the risks) is unethical

any structural or institutional conditions that contribute to inhibiting its use is to be considered structural violence

KIT