The Journey of Monica Rae Houston/Carr
Race/Ethnicity
Some of my recollections about ethnicity and race
a classmate in first grade ask me if I came from a black and white cow
my cousin being afraid of a black doll baby
attending a meeting with my younger sister's teacher, discussing how she refused to be black
moving into a neighborhood that was all white and quickly watching the neighborhood and school turn black
being forced to leave my integrated group of friends to be so called introduced to "integration.' where everything around me turned black
being the first and only black in my softball league
getting injured on my softball team to the point I couldn't walk and nobody helping me or offering me a ride home, which was a distance away. That pain hurt more than the physical. Every step I made was excruciating.
arriving at junior high school, being greeted with angry white parents with shot guns aimed out of their car windows at us
given instructions of when things became dangerous to run out of the back school doors to home for safety
waiting at the bus stop being called the "n" word and rocks thrown at me
being escorted into the Lakeland recreation center by police officers to ensure our safety basket
the mistreatment by family and friends based on how light or dark
taking a picture with my sister and being told by a black photographer, you must have been the house nigger and your sister the field nigger
Socio-Economic Status/Class
born in Catonsville, MD on a little street called Jones Avenue
surrounded by a community of family, great grand parents, grandparents, great aunts/uncles, uncles and aunts, cousins and friends
So culturally rich with family, community and love
pockets of blackness, surrounded by whites
today the street name is there but the remembrance of us, gone
So many memories of what once was
Belief System, Religion, Spirituality
faith system nurtured and sometimes forced by elder family members
Christian by profession and lifestyle
My belief system completely makes me who I am
Forgiveness & Love are power tools that I have chosen to personify
Personal, Family, Community Culture
voices from the past of relatives who experienced injustice, fears and pain always tried to interrupt my decisions to chose and think differently
Limited expectations, dreams and desires
As a young child my playmates were all colors, sizes and shapes, different backgrounds, homes and experiences
As I grew my world became full of people only like me, so it limited the world I once knew, making my selections and choices look only like me
At the wonderful age of 58, I see things anew, through my spiritual choice of Christianity, no longer by force but by love. The silencing of the voices that once seemed so loud have become whispers with hardly no sound. The wonderful reminder of my children who live differently, see differently, walk differently creating a brand new world for my grandchildren, all 6 of them. I have great hope and confidence that it will truly get better each generation at a time.
Gender
Strong black women in my life, my grandmothers and aunts
Single Moms who took care of their families and homes
Strong women in the church who mentored and nurtured me
Black Woman Educators who helped me realize who I was first and then to be able to recognize the Power of Women of every culture and creed
I must say in light of recent tragedies that have birth the movement of, "Black Lives Matter" I am put to the test of whether or not all of these written words upon this page are really true as they resurface once again giving another generation a chance to respond differently
At this place in, "My Journey," the Good Outweighs the Bad