The Now Habit
Book Summary
http://litemind.com
About
book
Neil Fiore
1989
224 pages
on amazon.com
mind map
Luciano Passuello
litemind.com
2007
Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial 3.0
images
Crystal Clear
Everaldo Coelho
map contains full contents of book
divided by chapters
1. Why We
Procrastinate
fear
failure
excuse for less-than-perfect, disappointing performance
having little time
it's not the "real you" being judged
best effort
imperfection
perfectionism
impossible expectations
fear of success
more work!
delayed fear of failure
"ultimate failure"
increasing demands
higher chance failure
keep you from doing your best
conflict
unwillingness to choose
popular pressure
jealousy
"You'll have more friends if you don't give them a reason to be jealous."
judgement
threat
sense of self-worth
loving party
parental judge
learned in early life
too young to think
negative pedagogy
low self-esteem
can be unlearned!
procrastination cycle
perfectionism
fear of failure
procrastination
self-criticism
anxiety and depression
loss of confidence
greater fear of failure
more procrastination
...
rewarding
painful work
seek relief
avoidance
more pleasurable activity
work completed by someone else
work becomes unnecessary
problems resolve by themselves
difficult decisions
it will be made for you
no responsibility for it
pressure from authorities
indirect way of resisting
resentment
no-win situation
victim
can't rebel
face consequences
anger
punishment
loose benefits
self-righteousness
martyr-dom
procrastinate!
exercise control
2. How We
Procrastinate
what to do
time log
identify patterns
energy levels
events
before procrastination period
work
A, B, C quality
build sense of worth
*the* most important attitude
no book can teach
behavior is everything
fake it 'till you make it
behave like you have
eventually you will have
talk to yourself in positive ways
feedback loop
start
new habits
new behaviors
feedback
higher levels of self-worth
"walk a board" metaphor
Situation A
scenario
30cm wide
10m long
in the ground
feelings
OK!
Situation B
scenario
same as A
30m high
feelings
still simple but
not only a test
Situation C
scenario
same as B
building on fire
feelings
"now it's for real"
threat greater than fear of failure
fear of imperfection
goes away
solve the problem
creatively
energy on solution
not on worry
procrastinator pattern
raise the board
perfectionism
associate with the job
self-worth
failure
not just job
but you!
own happiness
get frozen
fear of failure
set fire on building
create threat
bigger than fear of failure
use procrastination!
to increase urgency
move!
Situation D
scenario
same as B
no fire
support net
feelings
OK!
can recover many times
sense of worth
support net
3. How to Talk
to Yourself
very important to master it!
Slogans
Procrastinator's Slogan
'I have to finish something important and do it perfectly while enduring long periods of isolation from the people and things I love."
Producer's Slogan
'I choose to start on one small imperfect step knowing I have plenty of time for play."
expressions
#1
"I have to..."
"I choose to..."
#2
"I must finish"
"When can I start?"
#3
"This is so big"
"I can take one small step"
#4
"I must be perfect"
"I can be human"
#5
"I don't have time to play"
"I must take time to play"
"have to"
why it's bad
feelings
stress
victimhood
resistance
confusion
messages
"I don't want to do it"
"They're making me do it."
"I have to do it... or else!'
no-win situation
don't do
punishment
do
against will
brain energy
task
messages
inner dialogs
vs
authoritarian
rebel
vs
empowered
victimized
parent / child relationship
learned behavior
"discipline"
even worse
reinforces
you don't want to do it
conflicting!
energy for task
energy to resist threat to integrity of self
2 possible responses
stress
burst of excessive energy
"fight or flight"
depression
conserve energy for survival
what to do
show
choice
"I choose"
determination
"I will"
"should"
why it's bad
depression
messages
ideal x bad reality
finished x bad start
admired x bad you
envy
bliss x bad now
what to do
"When can I start?"
"What can I do now?"
small step
corrective action
the power of choice
parachute story
convert
fear
purpose
say NO
without excuses
no need to prove self-worth
you HAVE choice
visualize not doing
assert it
"I have to go to the dentist"
"I am going to the dentist"
4. Guilt-Free Play,
Quality Work
"Work hard. Play hard."
put off living
worst form of procrastination
lessen respect
yourself
life all spinach
no dessert
symptoms
seem as always working
undeserving a rest
life "on hold"
sacrificing themselves
view others as lazy
guilty
don't enjoy play fully
benefits
recharge batteries
creativity
motivation
energy
less fear of overwhelm
tasks interrupted
friends
exercise
free time
no feeling of
task = no play
deprivation
life isolation
pain
breaks and support along the way
seeming paradox
more play
more producing
methods of motivation
"push"
threat
action through fear
not directed to goal
escape from fear
used to exercise authority
generates resistance
enforces procrastination!
negative rewards for not doing
"pull"
attraction to goals
rewards
more frequent
scheduled
not "someday"
more motivation
shorter work periods
less pain
positive rewards for doing
cycle
schedule guilt-free play
guilt-free play
sense of freedom
ability to commit and concentrate increases
short period of quality work
sense of self-control
ability to enjoy guilt-free play increases
5. Tools
reverse calendar
for fear of overwhelm
big task
common mistakes
you see all simultaneously
work
energy required
try to find "right" place to start
there are plenty!
thinking that wrong decision will cascade all the way to failure...
time to learn and build confidence
feeling you're "only starting"
when you should be finished
small chunks
always focus on here, now
spread energy in time
procedure
1. Start with ultimate deadline
2. Work backwards
intermediate deadlines
rewards, if possible
specific actions
next action
Why it works
sense of control
no imposed deadline from authority
sense of accomplishment
rewards
work of worrying
for fear of failure
stress
beneficial
if not loop
negative images
threaten
use the way it was designed for
readying for positive action
procedure
questions
acknowledge possibility of failure
1. "What is the worst that could happen?"
2. "What would I do if the worst really happened?"
this gets you out of the loop!
"no event can ever stop me"
3. "What alternatives would I have?"
no "lock-in" in "perfect" situation
many ways to be happy and successful
minimize failure
4. "What can I do now to lessen the probability of this dreaded event occurring?"
next actions
small things
5. "Is there anything I can do now to increase my changes of achieving my goal?
negative side has been dealt with
now, tackle the real goal!
persistent starting
for fear of finishing
handle counterproductive statements
"I only need a little more time"
no level is safe from criticism
perfectionism
separate self-worth
work
#1
real
completed
imperfect
#2
ideal
incomplete
late
"I need to do more preparation before I start"
label as procrastination
no escape from work
doing it
choose this one
only reliever
long-run
anxiety
stress
only solution
start working
worrying about it
"at this rate, I'll never finish"
learning curve
3-dimensional thinking
guilt-free play
"I should have started earlier"
half-empty cup syndrome
"there's only more work after this"
there will be a choice later
independent steps
"it's not working"
creativity
Unschedule
principles
focus on get started
30 min of quality work
based on
guilt-free play
quality work
even producers need a system!
B. F. Skinner
"punch" clock
chair
check-in
check-out
reverse psychology
not work harder!
more time in leisure
more quality in work
examples...
Do not work more than 20 hours a week on this project
Do not work more than 5 hours a day on this project
You must exercise, play, dance at least one hour a day
You must take at least one day a week off from any work
Aim for only 30 minutes of quality work
Work for an imperfect, perfectly human first effort.
Start small.
unconscious desire
work more
play less
"resist authority"
procedure
schedule non-work
previously committed time
meals
sleep
meetings
free time
recreation
leisure reading
socializing
health activities
swimming
running
tennis
routine structured events
commuting time
classes
medical appointments
sharpen perception of actual time available
no 24h a day
no 48h a weekend
be a better time manager
put work in Unschedule
after
completed
30min
take credit
30min
uninterrupted
has to be quality work
tip
schedule AAA project
first thing on morning
reward yourself
break
change to more pleasant task
positive association
work
keep track
quality work hours
day
week
emphasize accomplishment
watch for patterns
day off
full day
recreation
small chores
goals
rejuvenation
maintain creativity
motivation
before planned leisure
principles
uses attraction to pleasure activity to get started more often
enjoy leisure without guilt
kick subconscious mind to work in leisure
work 30 minutes
leisure activity
creates motivation
reinforces good habit
Grandma's Principle
"ice cream only after spinach"
focus on starting
think small
do not aim for
finish a book
write letters
work for four hours
aim for
30min of quality work
keep starting
forget about finishing
starting is the only thing
never end down
breaks following work
avoid creating poor work habits
never take break or reward
when you're
blocked
at the end of a section
extra 5 or 10 minutes
extra partial solution
makes easier to start next time
6. Flow State
"perfect mood"
no waiting for it
procrastination
just do it!
allowed by relaxation exercise
Using more of your brain
critic
frustration
temporarily
suppress logical side
supervise
criticize
fix every error
creativity
joy
unlimited
astonishing
work
early pieces disorganized
essential to the process
"The pleasure of creativity is the greatest pleasure in the world"
-Sammy Kahn, Academy Award-Winning Songwriter
Focusing Exercise
2 minutes
no separate time
relaxing and "letting go"
1 minute
positive affirmation
1 minute
when to use
during the day
stressful situation
commuting
before
after
incorporate it
before quality work
good habit
use as a tool
together with how to talk to yourself
record it
until you know it by heart
procedure
breathing (how to)
deeply
hold
exhale fully
sit straight
feet on floor
hands on thighs
part I
1 minute
1. release tension
3 slow breaths
count
imagine tension going away
feeling of the chair
float down
release muscle tension
floor/feet
let do muscles
eyelids
float softly over eyes
relax all body
2. let go past
3 slow breaths
tasks just past
`
self-image
3. let go future
3 slow breaths
deadlines
expectations
4. center in the present
3 slow breaths
let go
being
someone else
at any other time
in a particular way
just be
part II
1 minute
5. positive suggestion
proper state
link 2 hemispheres
up 1 minute
create custom ones!
suggestions
for confrontations
for creativity
for non-procrastination
7. Fine-Tuning
Your Progress
planned setbacks
rehearse
procrastination
choose to procrastinate
watch it consciously
depression
anxiety
non-use of techniques
then choose it differently!
resilience
secret of successful people
fail often
bounce back
take responsibility
correct problems
direct energy
solution
not on blaming initial cause
no perfect paths
finding more problems than expected
doesn't mean you made
wrong choice
mistake
"A mistake won't be the end of the world, because I won't let it be."
hardiness
3 traits
commitment
control
believe can control events
at least partially
challenge
changes are normal challenges to be "solved"
practicing it
fitness
ex: running
set 10Km as goal
and then run an addition km
set goal
and then do more
not as difficult
you are choosing to do
watching your energy level
not dealing with inner chat on completing the goal
beware inner chat
"I cant' complete this marathon"
Identify it and know how to mitigate
focus on what you can do now
run an extra mile
finish marathon slowly
freely choose to do it
it will hurt anyway
so, do the thing that will bring you closer to your goal :)
conclusion
focusing on the goal is tiring!
focus on the process!
concentration
writing pad
have it ready
write down distractions
as they pop!
deal later
examples
to-do reminders
fantasies
unschedule it later
mental rehearsing and programming
imagine your day
rehearse
realistically
8. The Procrastinator
In Your Life
work
how to manage procrastinators
no need for pressure
the procrastinator himself is his best dictator
no need for one more
most people are
recognize problems
feeling like victim
commitment
invite
responsibility
action
compliance
requires action
being overwhelmed
focus on
start
be clear on how to start
finish
state priorities
clearly
stick to them!
don't keep changing your mind
otherwise they will procrastinate waiting for next emergency
fear of failure
rewards
fair
frequent
sense of purpose
belonging
home
don't take it personally
don't do parental talk
no "shoulds" or "have tos"
this reinforces authority
"You should put gas in the car, what's wrong with you?"
"I would like you to put gas in the car"
treat them as responsible adults
not kids
"I'm leaving at 8."
they can exercise choice if going
not make them feel like victims
of your decision
tell that it's your problem
explain that you're too structured
and that the other has to understand it...