Changes That Heal

grace and truth

grace and truth divided

truth without grace

grace without truth

grace and truth together

the real selve versus the false self

the guilt barrier

time

redemptive time

but why does it take so long?

good time and bad time

a second chance

grace, truth, and time together

what is bonding?

what is bonding?

the biblical basis

God is not alone

God is love

when relationship was broken

a developmental perspective

the importance of bonding

beware of false teachers

the benefits of attachment

when we fail to bond

symptoms of failure to bond

depression

feelings of meaninglessness

feelings of badness and guilt

addiction

distorted thinking

emptiness

sadness

fears of intimacy

feelings of unreality

panic

rage

excessive caretaking

fantasy

barriers to bonding

past injury

distorted thinking

our view of ourselves

"I am bad"

"I am unlovable."

"Something about me scares people away."

"My sins are worse than other people's sins."

"I don't deserve love."

"My neediness will overwhelm anyone."

"My need for others is not valid."

"My feelings will overwhelm anyone."

our view of others

"No one is trustworthy."

"People will always leave me."

"People are mean and critical."

"People will disapprove of me."

"People will control me."

"People are faking their care."

our view of God

"He really doesn't love me."

"God doesn't care about the way I feel. He just wants me to be good."

"He just wants 'good Christians'."

"He gets angry at me."

"He doesn't hear me."

"He doesn't answer prayer."

"He will control me and take away my freedom."

"He won't forgive me for ..."

defense mechanisms

denial

devaluation

projection

reation formation

mania

idealization

substitution

learning God's ways

learning to bond

skills for bonding

realize the need

move toward others

be vulnerable

challenge distorted thinking

take risks

allow dependent feelings

recognize defenses

become comfortable with anger

pray and meditate

be empathic

rely on the Holy Spirit

say yes to live

Joan

what are boundaries?

no boundaries

biblical basis for boundaries

our physical appearance

our attitudes

our feelings

our behavior

our thoughts

our abilities

our desires

our choices

our limits

negative assertions

how we develop boundaires

bonding

becoming separate

increasing separateness

when we fail to develop boundaries

crossing over boundaries

when we fail to develop boundaries

learning to set boundaries

what is the problem?

when we fail to accept good and bad

learning to accept both good and bad

what is adulthood?

when we fail to grow up

learning to become mature adults