par ahmad fahmy Il y a 16 années
448
the now habit
The content discusses the concept of guilt-free play and its importance in achieving quality work. It highlights how the worst form of procrastination can lead to a life that feels like it'
par ahmad fahmy Il y a 16 années
448
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and that the other has to understand it...
explain that you're too structured
"I'm leaving at 8."
not make them feel like victims
of your decision
they can exercise choice if going
not kids
no "shoulds" or "have tos"
"I would like you to put gas in the car"
"You should put gas in the car, what's wrong with you?"
this reinforces authority
recognize problems
belonging
sense of purpose
frequent
fair
being overwhelmed
state priorities
otherwise they will procrastinate waiting for next emergency
stick to them!
don't keep changing your mind
clearly
focus on
finish
be clear on how to start
feeling like victim
compliance
requires action
invite
action
responsibility
most people are
no need for pressure
no need for one more
the procrastinator himself is his best dictator
realistically
write down distractions
examples
fantasies
unschedule it later
to-do reminders
deal later
as they pop!
have it ready
fitness
conclusion
focus on the process!
focusing on the goal is tiring!
beware inner chat
focus on what you can do now
it will hurt anyway
so, do the thing that will bring you closer to your goal :)
freely choose to do it
finish marathon slowly
run an extra mile
Identify it and know how to mitigate
"I cant' complete this marathon"
set goal
and then do more
watching your energy level
not dealing with inner chat on completing the goal
you are choosing to do
not as difficult
ex: running
set 10Km as goal
and then run an addition km
challenge
changes are normal challenges to be "solved"
control
believe can control events
at least partially
commitment
"A mistake won't be the end of the world, because I won't let it be."
finding more problems than expected
doesn't mean you made
mistake
wrong choice
direct energy
not on blaming initial cause
solution
correct problems
bounce back
fail often
then choose it differently!
watch it consciously
non-use of techniques
part II
5. positive suggestion
suggestions
for non-procrastination
With each breath I become more alert, curious, and interested in how rapidly I'll be going beyond discomfort and worry to starting with purpose and commitment in just a few seconds of clock time - 1. Becoming more and more alert and ready to begin as I tap into the inner wisdom of my mind and many alternative solutions - 2. Coming all the way up to full alertness, operating at a genius level with the support of my entire brain and my creative faculty, ready and eager to begin -3.
for creativity
With each breath I am tapping into my creative self, opening more and more of my brain power to my task. My conscious mind may not know yet what to do, just as it doesn't know how a puzzle will look like until it's finished. I may not know how I'm going to do this, but soon something will come to me and then a little bit more. And I will find that process very interesting because while I don't know yet what the solution will be, I do know that I will do it and that part of me already knows how to do it. I will also be interesting to see how time feels different at this level of the mind, and to wonder about how much I will accomplish in such a short period of clock time.
Counting up from one to three, I am becoming more quietly alert and am now ready to work in a focused, concentrated way, rapidly going from not knowing to knowing how to start-1. More alert, relaxed, and energized, ready to use the superior wisdom of my subconscious mind-2. Ready to come all the way up to full alertness with my eyes open, eager to work in conjunction with the creative faculties of my mind - 3.
for confrontations
I create the feeling of a warm, golden glow around me, an atmosphere that protects me from any distracting words and attitudes of others, and even from any negative thoughts of my own. I have all the time in the world to consider thoughts and remarks or to push then aside and to return my focus toward positive attitudes and my chosen goals. My thoughts and actions convey to others that I am their ally. Others can only help me. I am becoming more and more robust in my world and can be friendly and generous as I use my inner resources to cope with each challenge and opportunity.
Count up from one to three, I return to normal wakefulness, bringing with me my own safe, supportive, warm, cocoon of golden light 1-Becoming more and more quietly and peacefully alert-2. Ready to open my eyes and participate fully in a safe and supportive atmosphere -3.
create custom ones!
up 1 minute
proper state
link 2 hemispheres
part I
4. center in the present
just be
let go
being
in a particular way
at any other time
someone else
3. let go future
expectations
deadlines
2. let go past
self-image
`
tasks just past
1. release tension
eyelids
relax all body
float softly over eyes
feeling of the chair
floor/feet
let do muscles
release muscle tension
float down
imagine tension going away
count
3 slow breaths
sit straight
hands on thighs
feet on floor
breathing (how to)
exhale fully
hold
deeply
until you know it by heart
use as a tool
together with how to talk to yourself
good habit
before quality work
when to use
commuting
before
stressful situation
during the day
positive affirmation
relaxing and "letting go"
1 minute
no separate time
"The pleasure of creativity is the greatest pleasure in the world" -Sammy Kahn, Academy Award-Winning Songwriter
essential to the process
early pieces disorganized
astonishing
unlimited
joy
fix every error
criticize
supervise
temporarily
suppress logical side
frustration
allowed by relaxation exercise
never end down
avoid creating poor work habits
makes easier to start next time
extra partial solution
extra 5 or 10 minutes
never take break or reward
when you're
at the end of a section
blocked
breaks following work
keep starting
starting is the only thing
forget about finishing
think small
aim for
30min of quality work
do not aim for
work for four hours
write letters
finish a book
focus on starting
before planned leisure
leisure activity
reinforces good habit
"ice cream only after spinach"
Grandma's Principle
creates motivation
work 30 minutes
kick subconscious mind to work in leisure
enjoy leisure without guilt
uses attraction to pleasure activity to get started more often
day off
goals
maintain creativity
rejuvenation
small chores
full day
keep track
watch for patterns
emphasize accomplishment
quality work hours
week
day
reward yourself
positive association
change to more pleasant task
break
put work in Unschedule
tip
schedule AAA project
first thing on morning
take credit
uninterrupted
has to be quality work
after
30min
schedule non-work
be a better time manager
sharpen perception of actual time available
no 48h a weekend
no 24h a day
routine structured events
medical appointments
classes
commuting time
health activities
tennis
running
swimming
socializing
leisure reading
recreation
previously committed time
meetings
sleep
meals
reverse psychology
unconscious desire
"resist authority"
play less
work more
examples...
Start small.
Work for an imperfect, perfectly human first effort.
Aim for only 30 minutes of quality work
You must take at least one day a week off from any work
You must exercise, play, dance at least one hour a day
Do not work more than 5 hours a day on this project
Do not work more than 20 hours a week on this project
more quality in work
more time in leisure
not work harder!
even producers need a system!
B. F. Skinner
"punch" clock
check-out
check-in
chair
based on
quality work
30 min of quality work
focus on get started
"it's not working"
"there's only more work after this"
there will be a choice later
independent steps
"I should have started earlier"
half-empty cup syndrome
"at this rate, I'll never finish"
3-dimensional thinking
learning curve
"I need to do more preparation before I start"
no escape from work
worrying about it
doing it
only reliever
only solution
start working
anxiety
long-run
choose this one
label as procrastination
"I only need a little more time"
late
incomplete
ideal
imperfect
completed
real
separate self-worth
no level is safe from criticism
questions
minimize failure
5. "Is there anything I can do now to increase my changes of achieving my goal?
now, tackle the real goal!
negative side has been dealt with
4. "What can I do now to lessen the probability of this dreaded event occurring?"
small things
next actions
acknowledge possibility of failure
3. "What alternatives would I have?"
many ways to be happy and successful
no "lock-in" in "perfect" situation
2. "What would I do if the worst really happened?"
"no event can ever stop me"
this gets you out of the loop!
1. "What is the worst that could happen?"
beneficial
readying for positive action
use the way it was designed for
if not loop
threaten
negative images
sense of accomplishment
no imposed deadline from authority
sense of control
2. Work backwards
next action
specific actions
intermediate deadlines
rewards, if possible
1. Start with ultimate deadline
spread energy in time
common mistakes
feeling you're "only starting"
when you should be finished
time to learn and build confidence
try to find "right" place to start
thinking that wrong decision will cascade all the way to failure...
there are plenty!
you see all simultaneously
energy required
positive rewards for doing
shorter work periods
less pain
rewards
more motivation
scheduled
not "someday"
more frequent
attraction to goals
negative rewards for not doing
enforces procrastination!
used to exercise authority
generates resistance
not directed to goal
escape from fear
action through fear
more producing
more play
no feeling of task = no play
pain
life isolation
deprivation
tasks interrupted
free time
exercise
friends
energy
motivation
creativity
don't enjoy play fully
sacrificing themselves
no dessert
yourself
assert it
"I am going to the dentist"
"I have to go to the dentist"
visualize not doing
no need to prove self-worth
without excuses
convert
purpose
"What can I do now?"
corrective action
small step
bliss x bad now
admired x bad you
envy
finished x bad start
ideal x bad reality
show
determination
"I will"
choice
"I choose"
brain energy
conflicting!
2 possible responses
depression
conserve energy for survival
burst of excessive energy
"fight or flight"
energy to resist threat to integrity of self
energy for task
inner dialogs
"discipline"
reinforces
you don't want to do it
even worse
parent / child relationship
learned behavior
victimized
empowered
vs
rebel
authoritarian
task
messages
do
against will
don't do
"I have to do it... or else!'
"They're making me do it."
"I don't want to do it"
confusion
resistance
victimhood
stress
"I must take time to play"
"I don't have time to play"
"I can be human"
"I must be perfect"
"I can take one small step"
"This is so big"
"When can I start?"
"I must finish"
"I choose to..."
"I have to..."
'I choose to start on one small imperfect step knowing I have plenty of time for play."
'I have to finish something important and do it perfectly while enduring long periods of isolation from the people and things I love."
sense of worth
can recover many times
support net
no fire
procrastinator pattern
move!
set fire on building
use procrastination!
to increase urgency
create threat
bigger than fear of failure
get frozen
raise the board
associate with the job
own happiness
self-worth
but you!
not just job
energy on solution
not on worry
solve the problem
creatively
fear of imperfection
goes away
"now it's for real"
threat greater than fear of failure
building on fire
same as B
not only a test
still simple but
30m high
same as A
feelings
OK!
scenario
in the ground
10m long
30cm wide
behavior is everything
feedback loop
start
feedback
higher levels of self-worth
new behaviors
new habits
talk to yourself in positive ways
fake it 'till you make it
eventually you will have
behave like you have
no book can teach
*the* most important attitude
work
A, B, C quality
identify patterns
events
before procrastination period
energy levels
no-win situation
victim
procrastinate!
exercise control
can't rebel
loose benefits
martyr-dom
self-righteousness
face consequences
punishment
anger
resentment
indirect way of resisting
it will be made for you
no responsibility for it
seek relief
more pleasurable activity
avoidance
parental judge
can be unlearned!
low self-esteem
negative pedagogy
too young to think
learned in early life
loving party
threat
sense of self-worth
popular pressure
jealousy
"You'll have more friends if you don't give them a reason to be jealous."
unwillingness to choose
keep you from doing your best
fear of success
delayed fear of failure
higher chance failure
increasing demands
"ultimate failure"
more work!
perfectionism
having little time
best effort
it's not the "real you" being judged
excuse for less-than-perfect, disappointing performance
divided by chapters
Crystal Clear
www.everaldo.com
Everaldo Coelho
