The narrative explores the pervasive theme of emotional suppression throughout different stages of Kate's life, starting from her childhood. Her parents, particularly influenced by their Presbyterian beliefs, discouraged the expression of emotions, both positive and negative.
"Understatement was a rule in
our house. Emotions, even
positive ones, were kept
firmly under control."
(Lawson 9)
I think that this is another strong example of how Kate's emotions were suppressed when she was young. She even states how positive emotions were suppressed aswell as negative ones such as anger and sadness.
Her parents wouldn't like when she
or her siblings would talk about
their emotions. "It was the
Eleventh Commandment, carved on
its very own tablet of stone and
presented specifically to those of
Presbyterian persuasion: Thou
Shalt Not Emote." (Lawson 9)
"'He's a very fortunate young man.' My mother said. In her effort to hide her unseemly pride and pleasure she sounded almost cross." (Lawson 11)
This shows that even Kate's PARENTS would suppress their own emotions, as well as raising their children to suppress their emotions as well.
Kate's Teens
"I hated it when she told me things about myself. The previous week she had told me that I looked angry all the time, and that it was time I forgave whoever it was who'd made me so mad and got on with my life. I was so angry at her for saying it that I left without taking my money or saying
goodbye." (Lawson 111)
This shows how Kate, in her teens, would have strong emotions & opinions about things, but suppressed them by simply walking away without speaking to anyone or letting anybody know why she was upset.
Kate's Adulthood
"As I say, this was at the beginning of our relationship. I didn't know it at the time, but that little request from Daniel was the beginning of what was going to be a problem between us, a problem which I described to myself as Daniel asking more of me than I could give, and which Daniel described to me as my shutting him out of my life." (Lawson 36)
Here is another example of how the suppression of one's emotions can greatly affect them as they age. When first getting into a relationship, Kate noticed some obvious road blocks in the relationship due to her not knowing how to speak freely, or even tell her lover what/how she is feeling. "asking more of me than I could give"
"Against all that, Great-Grandmother Morrison's little handmade book rest seemed a bit pathetic, and I kept it under wraps." (Lawson 35)
Here is a blatant example of kate admitting that she suppresses her stories, emotions, and opinions. "and I kept it under wraps".
“I’d started telling him the story-- the whole of it-- just before we got to New Liskeard. In the main it is Matt’s story, and I have protected it from public gaze all these years.” (Lawson 243)
"You must understand:
I had never thought that
I would really love someone. It hadn't
been on the cards, as far as i was concerned.
To be honest, I had thought that such
intensity of feeling was beyond me."
(Lawson 89)
“I didn’t know what I was feeling-- relief, despair, confusion, the whole shooting match. I’d have liked to be able to tell him the truth-- to unburden myself by explaining why I hadn’t wanted him to come. But how do you explain what you don’t understand?” (Lawson 162)
here, you can see how the suppression of Kate's emotions during her childhood affected her later on in life. Since she doesn't know how to speak her mind or relief herself of whatever emotion she is feeling, she becomes confused and frustrated with herself.
"And after a pause, Daniel said, ‘Does the word empathy mean anything to you, Kate’? It was our first quarrel. Except that we didn’t quarrel, we withdrew, and were polite and distant with each other for several days.” (Lawson 150)
Kate got into a small arguement
with Daniel, because he's not
sure if Kate really cares about
their relationship, because she
has a hard time communicating
how she feels. "The thing is, I’m
not sure that we’re… getting
anywhere. I have no idea what
you feel about… well, anything.”
(Lawson 88)
"I am not from a background where people talk about problems in their relationships. If someone does or says something that upsets you, you don't say so. Maybe its another Presbyterian thing; if the eleventh commandment is Thou Shalt Not Emote, the twelfth is Thou Shalt Not Admit to Being Upset, and when it becomes evident to the whole world that you are upset, Thou Shalt on No Account Explain why." (Lawson 36)
here you can see Kate acknowledging the suppression of her emotions. She blatantly states: "If someone does or says something that upsets you, you don't say so." I think this is a very strong example of how kate deals with emotion & how it affected her identity as she got older.
