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Wait 5 minutes before starting to talk to your child.
Try to find a word to label what you are feeling (such as "disappointment"). Say it to yourself and be sure that it is appropriate for you child.
Do not hold grudges. Deal only with the present.
Share your feelings of frustration with your spouse or a friend.
Seek professional help if you feel that you have lost control.
Name call or blame. "You are bad" should be replaced with "I don't like the way you are acting."
Yell or threaten.
Lie
Use silence to express strong feelings. Long silences frighten and confuse
Calmly communicate your feelings.
Be truthful.
Listen carefully
Make sure that when you are upset with your child, she knows that it is her behavior that is the problem, not the child herself
Model what you want your child to do – practice what you preach.