THE FOUR STEPS- wanting to have my car at school but I share it with my sister so my mom rather the car stays at the house to not be unfair

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THE FOUR STEPS- wanting to have my car at school but I share it with my sister so my mom rather the car stays at the house to not be unfair

Step 4 - SELECTING SOLUTION WITH MAXIMUM GAIN

win win

or maximum gain

Not a win win but is maximum gain

My mom has to do little to no driving for us - Riley gets the car - and I will have more options for being picked up than if that car was at home

choose best solution

Give Riley the car since she lives furthest away

much more realistic snd will actually be able to purchase a parking spot at her school (Merrimack much less likely)

She has to pick me up on her way home and whenever I need her to (which is easy since my school is on the way home and closest to the rest of my gamily members)

Step 3 - BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS

no evaluating

no judging

collaboration

coming up with lots of potential solutions

leaving car at home so no one feels chosen over the other

Riley gets the car and picks me up when I need

I get the car due to the fact that Riley got the car last semester

I have the car but make sure to pick up my sister when she needs

Step 2- IDENTIFY NEEDS AND WANTS

self assertion - I statements instead of you statements

POSITIONS VS NEEDS

Needs - why they want that

emotions

why they do what they do

moms needs- wants to be fair. Doent want to drive around as often. Doesn't want to have to worry for our car safety and car troubles

my needs- want to come home more. Be able to escape when needed, see/ visit friends

position - what they want (outcome they want)

moms position -wants car at home

My position - wants car at Merrimack

step 1 - CONNECT TO THE HUMANITY (

curiosity, being calm

recognizing people are different

summarizing and paraphrasing

shows the other person that you understand

other person feels heard which disarms them

body language - eye contact

makes person feel more comfortable- shows that you are listening

ask questions

understand the other persons perspective (listen)

Riley is far from home, harder time and options for getting home than me. Has lots of reasons for needing the car and more things to drive for.

My mom docent want to have to do as much driving and worrying about rides. She also docent want to be unfair and wants to make sure both me and Riley are satisfied

EMPATHETIC LISTENING