The speaker reflects on their tendency to overthink and hold back, recognizing that this behavior limits their ability to receive accurate feedback and truly grow. They propose that by embracing their unique qualities, they could offer something special to others.
Atmosphere and Lighting:
Black Light
Light sticks
Really deep and respectful as appose to Superficial, seductive, dirty even mean
Sumuy
Anitialy my plan was to combine my duet reaserche with doret (sopeken word on personal truthe from deep pain) with a facinatian on round movments, the feeling of being pregnet or abel to give life and round worm medeteranian music.
Then it evolved to working with physical pain and defense- martial arts.
Then it became cleer that at the moment martial arts and the physicality a defensive awerness brings is fascinating to me.
I had an imege during the clase of vincint that gave me the realasation that depthe is another deep fascination for me , and the way I see it visualy (the grafe my mind craated) gave me some more sence on the relation of polarity and balance to the understanding of depth.
This is why I choose to go all in with my instincts and my planning at the same time. To welcome mastakes and trust my instinkts from the understanding that above all this is a learning prosses and ther is no gain without risk or development without faling,
In a way I wish this prosses to be for me the first time I responsibly truly give up control and observe judgment without letting it move me or affect me amodoatly.
I do not know wher this prosses will liead me but for now I am shure I want to use the , mirror, blake light, original live piano music, martial arts and reserching more about my idias on depthe. (ther conection to pain, respect (healing- empty awerness) verses tesing (sexual, eavel), sensetivity verses stability)
Depth- physical, conseptualy, philosophicly, in spase, with sound)
Tesing the audiens- physical, conseptualy, philosophicly, in spase, with sound)
Exercises + physicality:
1.Depth Scheme improvisation:
- From the imeg (man's arms and legs slowly expand)
- from the physical idea that half is soft and half controlled, half sensitive (open) and half stable(more closed) (whatever that means)
2. Give movements to my and Dort's text for each word - (increase / lower mid to high)
3. Vin Chu, Martial Arts, Tai Chi
- Hand-to-hand manipulation (with the wrist, with fingers. Moving between effective - and ineffective. Moving between the opposite)
- Elbows close to the body
- From pelvis to pelvis (pelvic control, pelvic protection, movement is towards the pelvis)
- Stay close to the body and leave room for a rebound (don't straighten limbs/ movements until the end)
- Mobility (move in space)
The right said of the paper represents ‘sensitivity’ and the left- ‘stability’.
Sensitivity to me represents:
Openness. The ability to contain, show empathy, feel excited and show emotions. (I consider the fact that eeveryone has their own interpretation of sensitivity as well.)
Stability to me represents:
Emotional stability and psyche stability. The aability to honer, respect and listen to others regardless to ones emotions or others actions and opinions. The ability to stay steady, still and quiet in any situation. Not taking things personaly, not being affected quickly by feelings and the actions of others and self.
And the 2 lines represents how far you develop in your ability on both sensitivity and stability- middle point being 0 for both. the cone shaped canal represents Depth- as more as you go down- the deeper it is. So it is a 3 daymentunal sceam. I consider anoder sceam in development : a moving X on the bottom of this botamles canal ( a compes)- on the first polarity: sensitivity and stability. On the second – respectful and teasing.
Respectful to me represents accepting-> honouring -> awe -> emptiness-> pure awareness -> healing.
Teasing to me represents not excepting-> challenging without allowing a competition -> trying to trigger. (anoing, evil, sexual, fighting)
As you can see, the person how is standing on the top - where the lines that represent stability and sensitivity are not so far (developed) along on their own scheme, this person is relatively small.
As deeper as he gets the more he needs to grow- rise to the occasion, or as more as he grows, he can reach more depth, or both simultaneously.
He is not able to move down without growing because he will fall. (to the abice/the unknown.)
Depth to me represents:
How much did one experience, has been able to contain, putting oneself in uncomfortable situations, breaking and recovering and challenging oneself. How many times and how often one believed with all his heart and then doubt and again believed with all the heart and doubt again
Me and Doret wort a text that I would like to work with. We both divided into our deepest pain and produced a text that is talking about a constant inner strogel ( to hide, to let go (of control), to understand, to talk about, to be nice to oneself).
A cycle of a straggle till one crash just to start it all over again.
Maybe this is the cycle one has to go trough in order to move down the depth scheme.
From melvins class: i have discovered that i want to work withe martial arts, physical pain and polarity. i have discovered that when i have several parts of a plan i still have freedom to choose what fits in the moment so its spontaneous but still i have a plan a keep true to:) (doret jelmer video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0K1n1DPi2U iangelik: i have discoverd that i am constsntly over thinking and holding back and that limits me to recive the corect feedback about myself to truly grow and maby what and who i am fully is actualy or can be somthing very special for others
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5a261L6AIA
Main topic
rico and reut 813
Concept: Depth
I have an image in my mind that
Connects all my other ideas and movement material- its my “hed them” and i call it: Depth Scheme:
