IDEAL ISU-Morgan Yu P.2

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Acting on a plan (Negotiation): In this scenario, you and your partner watch a movie and eat dinner afterwards. During dinner, you partner seemed somewhat distant and upset, most likely from you refusing to go to his house. The bill for this outing was quite high as you both went to a expensive restaurant. Otherwise, you had a good time and learned much more about your partners interests and personality.

Learning from your plan: In this scenario, you and your partner both had a fun night. You learned you could negotiate with your partner on plans that you did not want to do and find a common ground where you'd both like the outcome. This communication skill can be helpful if you find yourself in a situation that requires some action without an argument or disagreement. In the future, this skill can be helpful when you are able to find a mutual understanding for one and other and find an option that works for you and your partner.

Identify the problem: It is implied that the partner wants to have sexual intercourse even though you haven't spent much time with him. You know this and aren't sure if you want to. You and your partner are implied to be relatively young as your partner lives with his parents. You have never spent a lot of time alone with your partner, but now you’ve been invited over on Friday because you partner’s parents are going away for the night.

Aggressive Refusal: Say "No way!" and start arguing with him until you break up with him.

Going through a breakup during adolescence can impact your psychological development and mental health.

In the midst of you and your ex-partner's argument, both of your feelings get hurt and you both say things that you didn't mean.

Your ex-boyfriends is angry at you and starts spreading rumours about you to your friends.

You tell your partner exactly how you feel and don't hold back on what you think of having sexual intercourse this early in a relationship. Afterwards, you have less mental strain from not holding back your feelings.

You don't have sex with him and avoid an unwanted pregnancy.

Negotiation: Say "how about we go to the movies and eat dinner instead?"

Pro

You get to spend more time with your partner and learn about their interests.

Couple watches a movie instead of having sex that one partner was not ready for yet.

Con

The movie and dinner were expensive and you had to pay for half of it. You don't have much money since you are young and don't have a full-time job.

Partner is a bit upset with you for not wanting to go over to his house.

Passive: Say Yes and hide your feeling about not wanting to have sex.

You make your partner happy.

You avoid an argument with your partner.

You might get pregnant as you didn't take any contraceptives leading up to sexual intercourse. Additionally, your partner also only used a condom that he did not put on properly as he is inexperienced, this can make this method of birth control unreliable.

You had sex with someone that you weren't ready to have sex with. This can increase levels of depression and anxiety in adolescences transitioning into being sexually active.

Assertive: Say "No, I'm not ready to do something like that since we haven't been dating for that long."

Cons

You are upset with the way your partner reacted as you knew he implied sexual intercourse and didn't respect your decision in abstinence.

Partner gets mad at you for accusing him for trying to have sex with you.

Pros

Since you abstained from sex you avoid an unwanted pregnancy

You don't have sex with your partner